I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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