yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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