His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just saw a hot homeless man
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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