Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
