It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
