You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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