your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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