I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
