i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
