when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
ttyl tear gas
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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