so explain again why im purple
no
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
