he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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