32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize