I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
