only if we run a train.
done.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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