The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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