My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
