They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
