mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
