I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
