i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
