My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
