So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
