i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize