Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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