how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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