I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize