i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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