you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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