HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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