Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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