bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
