how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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