This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize