It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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