if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
