After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
