why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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