Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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