before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
