she looked like the bat from fern gully.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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