How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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