party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im holly from the hills drunk
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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