First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
