I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
