Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I bet he comes in French.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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