so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
