A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
