New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
