And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
