I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
