Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
this will be a night to untag.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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