I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
