What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hippo gnu deer
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
