he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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