I met the friendliest cop last night
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
