he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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