i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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