She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
