bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize