my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
