It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
