you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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