What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
