I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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