How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
