I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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