Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
