Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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