I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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