woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you win again, gameday.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
