And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
