Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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