He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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