in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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