do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
