why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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