One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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